All I Want
by JenMorgan27
Summary: Post Season 3 Finale. Regina has to try and pick up the pieces as Storybrook is faced with a new, chilly threat. Outlaw Queen with a huge helping of Snow/Regina friendship. Please read and review.
1. Chapter 1

Hey everyone, here is my attempt at coping with the finale. This is what I would like to see for Outlaw Queen. The title was inspired by the song "All I Want" by Kodaline. If you haven't heard it, look it up. I think it fits perfectly.

I own nothing.

Chapter 1

"You just better hope to hell you didn't bring anything else back."

The moment Regina finished saying those words, she knew that it was impossible. She could never become the person she was again. The Evil Queen was long dead, and only now that she was tempted to dive back into the darkness was she shown just how far she had risen.

Casting one last look of sorrow at the reunited family, Regina turned from the Savior and strode purposefully out of the diner, trying desperately to mask the despair overtaking her. Trying to escape unnoticed.

In spite of all the former queen's efforts to remain composed, Emma heard the muffled sob that coincided with the tinkling of the bell on the door. Turning away from the vision of Regina hastening down the walk, Emma's gaze halted momentarily on the man Regina had walked in with. Robin looked completely dazed, standing there with arms wrapped around his long-lost wife. Emma wondered if he might not be going into shock.

Glancing quickly around the crowded diner, Emma was relieved to see that her exchange with Regina had, for the most part, gone unnoticed. Dozens of pairs of eyes were focused on the seemingly happy surprise reunion taking place in the center of the room. Panic and remorse began to set in as Emma turned to face her parents, hoping against hope that they would know what to do. David and Henry sat on either side of Snow and both were looking on with open-mouthed expressions of confusion and dismay.

Snow was the only other person in the room, in the world, not transfixed by the action. Instead her eyes quickly met her daughter's stricken gaze and, with tears of sorrow beginning to spill, she silently mouthed "Oh, Emma."

* * *

Regina barely knew where she was going as she raced up the street and away from the tragedy. Her tears now went unchecked and spilled ceaselessly as she bit into her gloved hand, trying to keep from crying out. Awareness of her surroundings did not come until she reached her front porch. She fumbled with her keys for what felt like hours before giving up and blowing the door open with a wave of her trembling hand. Staggering over the threshold, she slammed the door behind her, kicked off her shoes and sank slowly to the ground.

Was that it? Were those few short days of blissful hope the only happy ending she was entitled to? Her initial urge toward hatred and vengeance had cooled somewhat, leaving her with an emptiness that she had never before experienced.

She thought back to the Savior and registered a vague sense of regret at her own harsh words. Emma had meant no harm. Her wide-eyed, open-mouthed expression of shock had been enough to show Regina that she had not even guessed at the possibility of this complication. She had simply done what was right and Regina knew, deep down, that she could not fault Emma for that.

"I just wanted to save her life," Emma had said. Only one day before had Regina surprised everyone, including herself, with the words "heroes don't kill." Well, apparently heroes also do not stand by and allow others to be killed, and Emma Swan was certainly a hero. No. Regina had to admit to herself that it was not Emma's fault. Nor was it Marian's. Nor Robin's.

Robin.

A brief glimpse of his smiling face flashed across Regina's tightly-closed eyes and she felt her body give in to another bout of sobbing. She curled up into the fetal position on the floor of her foyer, weeping openly as she pictured their stolen moments of joy.

It seemed so unreal, that she had been so incredibly happy such a short time ago. She had given up on romantic love decades before, on the day she married the king in fact. Daniel had been her one shot, she had believed. After losing him, she had dedicated the rest of her life to other types of passion: first the thirst for power and revenge, and then her new-found capacity for motherly love.

She felt the cruelty of fate, that it would deal her this blow. To give her a taste of the bliss she had found with Robin, the contentment that came with knowing they were destined for one another, and then ripping it away with no warning and no consolation.

That's not true, she thought to herself. There is a consolation.

He will be happy. Robin now has a second chance at his first love. Regina noted the depth of her love for him when she realized that this knowledge did provide her with a small amount of comfort. Robin will be happy, and that is as it should be. After all, he was not the one who had tortured, murdered and cursed. He was good. A good friend. A good father. A good person, through and through.

Almost without thinking, Regina slowly reached into herself and pulled out that most troublesome part of her. She was faintly surprised to see that her heart had not broken in two. She had felt sure that it must have, with the amount of pain and turmoil it was currently experiencing. No, it was just the same as before. Red and glowing, with undeniable traces of darkness here and there. Robin's heart would not look like this, she told herself. It would glow bright red, vibrant and unmarred. The heart of a person who deserves happiness.

Fresh tears emerged as Regina lowered her hand to the ground, her eyes fixed on the small, imperfect organ. It would be so easy, she thought. It would be so easy to end it all right now. To let them all be happy without her. Henry had Emma and the Charmings. He would be fine and probably better off. Robin had his beloved wife and son. He would probably not even notice.

These thoughts sent another crushing blow through Regina and she responded by directing it to the object in her hand. Squeezing with all the energy she had left, she searched desperately for an escape.

Nothing happened.

Doubling her efforts, Regina cried out in anguish as she repeatedly tried and failed to crush the one thing keeping her tethered to this pain. She was unable to.

Fully consumed by her frustration and grief, the former queen did not hear the door gently swing open behind her. She did not notice the quiet gasp of shock or the soft steps as the figure approached her. Her attention was finally diverted from her task by the soft thud that came from the ground behind her. She turned her head enough to see the baby carrier resting only a few feet away and looked up to see Snow White, her former enemy, stare down at her through tear-filled eyes.

Regina cried out in despair as she tried one last time to remove herself from that world. To no avail. Her heaving breaths slowed to sighs of resignation as she gave up on her escape.

Slowly pulling herself to a sitting position, she leaned against the wall and looked helplessly up at her stepdaughter. Snow gave a small, teary smile before carefully lowering herself to the ground next to Regina.

They both looked down at the feebly glowing heart for several seconds. The younger woman then reached out and grasped the hand that held it, guiding Regina's hand slowly back to her chest and gently easing the broken, unbreakable heart back into place.

"That," she slowly began, "is what it means to be the most resilient."

Regina had looked down in wonder as the other woman pressed the heart back into her body and, stifling another sob, lifted her gaze to meet Snow's. The princess' words slowly began to register and Regina knew that it was no use.

She gave into her grief and slowly collapsed into the woman sitting next to her, allowing her sobs to be absorbed by Snow's firm embrace.


	2. Chapter 2

Wow! Thank you all for the reviews! Sorry about the technical difficulties. Hopefully we don't have any more of that. :) The relationship between Snow and Regina is definitely my favorite to write and explore, so I hope you all like where I go with it. Please continue to read and review!

**Chapter 2**

Regina had no idea how long the two of them sat there. It may have been ten minutes or two hours. The sobbing had eventually been replaced by slow, ragged breathing, as she tried to come to terms with what was happening.

Her heart was broken, but she could not crush it. Robin was gone. He was gone. But not in the way Daniel was gone, unreachable. Robin was right where he had been since the second curse hit, only out of reach for one person. Her.

This has to be worse, she thought to herself.

Well, no. Apparently she was not quite so alone this time. She opened her eyes and looked down at the arms encircling her. Snow hadn't spoken since she had first arrived and helped Regina restore her heart. In fact, Snow had lately been wondering if Regina might have dozed off. She was clearly exhausted.

Both women jumped when a small sound came from the baby carrier next to them. A whimper. Regina sat straight up and gave the other woman a surprised and questioning look, as if she was only just realizing that Snow White was actually there.

"What…" she began awkwardly. "What are you doing here, Snow?"

Snow had reached out and was pulling the car seat toward her. She did not answer immediately. Instead she removed the soft blue blanket that covered the carrier and reached in to gently unbuckle and remove the tiny, fussing baby. Holding him close, she covered him once again with the blanket and he quickly settled in to sleep again. Still looking down at her son, Snow spoke quietly.

"I didn't want you to be alone." She paused. "We saw what happened at Granny's, and Emma explained…"

Regina cut her off, remembering the harsh words she had spoken to Emma. "Emma explained that I was on my way back to my 'evil ways,'" she said hoarsely. "I guess it makes sense that someone would need to come and do damage control." She gave a quiet, bitter laugh.

"Emma told us what you said," Snow went on thoughtfully, "but I don't think any of us really believed you would go back to being that way. Henry wanted to rush out of the diner after you, but David talked him into giving you a little time." She let out a quiet chuckle as she looked over at Regina. "I'm sure he'll be here first thing in the morning."

Regina smiled weakly at the thought of her son. Her little knight in shining armor. She gave Snow another questioning look. "But you came?"

Snow smiled sadly. "Henry and I agreed that you shouldn't have to face this alone. When I told him I would come, he made me promise to tell you how much he loves you."

A few more tears raced down Regina's cheeks and Snow quietly asked, "You don't think Henry is the only person who cares about you, do you?"

Regina laughed weakly before answering, "I don't even know why Henry would." She paused and looked up at the other woman as she continued, "but thank you Snow. And don't worry, I suppose I don't have it out for your firstborn… again." She gave a tiny, mischievous grin and added, "you two do seem to cause a lot of trouble in the name of nobility though."

"Emma really is sorry that this happened, Regina," Snow replied earnestly. "I guess Hook tried to warn her that there might be unexpected consequences, but she thought they could be avoided by bringing Marian to the future with them. She was completely horrified when she realized what it meant for you."

"I know," the former queen replied with a sigh.

There was a long pause before either spoke again. Snow watched her stepmother carefully and decided that now would be as good a time as any.

"Regina…" she hesitated. "There's something else you should know."

Regina experienced a sudden rush of apprehension, but she honestly did not know what else could go wrong.

"It's about Marian," Snow continued slowly. "Emma told us that the reason she brought Marian to this time is that she was to be executed the next day. She and Emma both were. Emma was able to break out of her cell and helped Marian do the same."

Snow knew from Regina's blank expression that she had not yet seen the problem. Snow reached out and grasped her stepmother's hand as she slowly went on. "They had shared adjoining cells… in your dungeon."

That was it, Regina thought as she closed her eyes and rested her head against the wall.

She had done it. She had killed Robin's wife.

She let out a sigh and waited for more tears to come, but they did not. She was already too emotionally drained and physically exhausted. Instead she spoke quietly, opening her eyes and focusing on the ceiling above her.

"I recognized her in the diner," she said. "I know that I caused the deaths of hundreds, but I only executed a few of them personally."

She thought back to the demonstration she had made to the villagers. She had paraded Marian around as a warning to anyone who would attempt to help or hide Snow White. Her heart tightened as she wondered if Robin had been present. Did he know?

"I always wondered if I had done it," she admitted, "from the moment Robin told me his wife had died because he failed to protect her. I kept pushing the idea away because I was so happy, but I think I knew even then."

She sighed again and said quietly, "I killed so many. I suppose this is exactly the kind of ending I deserve."

"No Regina," Snow stated firmly, tears beginning to form in her own eyes. "That person is gone. You have earned happiness. I know it. You have to have faith that it will come."

Regina forced herself to meet her stepdaughter's gaze. She wanted to believe, but she could not. Robin had been her last chance. Her true love.

The silence was broken by a sudden sound. A firm pounding at the door. Both women started and the baby began to cry in earnest, jolted awake by the loud knocking and his mother's sudden movement. "I should go feed him," Snow said, glancing at the door in concern.

Regina stood and turned to help Snow up. "It's probably David or Emma," she said brusquely as she tried to wipe the evidence of her despair from her face. "It's nearly 11:30 and I'm sure they are concerned about you."

"No, I think it's for you," Snow said quietly as she peered through the small peep hole in the door. "I am going to go feed the baby, but please call me if you need anything."

She turned without another word and walked up the stairs, leaving Regina alone in the foyer. The knocking had ceased and Regina had a growing suspicion of who the caller was. She took a deep breath and braced herself, pulling the door open to reveal a lone figure.

Regina felt her heart break all over again as she looked into his blue eyes, which reflected a similar degree of pain to her own. He spoke first, in a gruff, barely audible whisper.

"Regina. I…"

His voice caught before he could go on and she saw a single tear make its way down his cheek. Neither knew what to say and so they just stood for several seconds, silently staring at one another, completely oblivious to the flurries of snow beginning to swirl around them.


	3. Chapter 3

Thank you all for the support and reviews! I am sorry it has taken me so long to update. Sometimes the ideas just come and sometimes they don't. This chapter is a little bit longer, so hopefully that helps. Please keep reviewing! That is the best motivation for me to keep the story going.

I don't think this mess between Regina and Robin is going to be a quick or easy fix, so bear with me. These first few chapters will probably be pretty bleak, but I'm hoping that the final outcome will make up for it.

**Chapter 3**

"I know why you're here, but it is not necessary. You have nothing to apologize for."

They sat in the dining room with the table between them. Regina initially thought to invite Robin into the sitting room, but she quickly remembered the empty plates and wine bottles from their afternoon together. She had not yet cleaned them up. She winced as her heart clenched once again at the thought of her sudden change of fortune. No. She would need a more formal setting than that, if she was going to maintain any kind of composure in front of him.

Robin had noted the new distance and formality between them and saw the wisdom in it, even though it pained him as much as her. He was still reeling from this turn of events and, although he was overjoyed to see his long-lost wife alive and well, he could not shake the sense of misery that came when he realized what it meant for his newly kindled relationship with Regina.

He had spent the last three hours holding Marian's hand as he introduced her to his new friends and showed her to their campsite in the nearby woods. She was so happy to be with him again, and with Roland, that she didn't notice the hesitancy with which he held her hand or the brief, concerned glances exchanged between Little John and some of the other Merry Men. They had all had reservations about their leader's relationship with the former Evil Queen, but each had decided to give her the benefit of the doubt when they saw Robin's newfound happiness with her.

Once Marian and Roland were settled in for the night and sleeping soundly, Robin crept silently from the tent. He had seen the disappointment in Marian's eyes when he made excuses to avoid sharing a bed with her, but it had not felt right to sleep with Marian when he could not get Regina's face out of his mind. He had to see her, to talk to her.

Little John sat quietly stoking the fire and saw Robin exit the dark tent. Robin approached him looking fairly miserable.

"John, I… I need to go speak with someone. Could you keep an eye on Marian and Roland for a little while?"

Little John nodded and placed a bracing hand on his friend's shoulder. "Do what you need to do Robin. We're all here beside you."

And now Robin sat only an arm's length from the woman he knew he held most dear. It felt like a thousand miles. He studied her face carefully as he tried to string a coherent thought out of the turmoil of emotions he was experiencing. She looked so calm, so resolute. So very much like the queen of her domain. She really was beautiful.

Robin was amazed, at first, by Regina's apparent composure. He felt like he was about to fall apart, and was struggling to maintain command of his own voice. It might have been her shining eyes that gave her away, however, or maybe Robin could just sense it. Regina's heart was broken.

"Regina," he slowly began. She studied him carefully as he struggled to find the right words. Finally he said, "I looked for you… at the diner. You… it was as if you had vanished. I had wanted to introduce you to… to Marian." She could see the apology in his eyes as he uttered the name, and she knew that he recognized how much pain he was bringing her.

"I immediately felt so torn," Robin went on in hopeless honesty. "She noticed… Marian saw that I was looking around for someone and I could see the confusion and hurt in her eyes…" He broke off again, forcing himself to look into those deep brown eyes he had come to love so fully. "It was then that I knew, Regina. I knew that I have to give Marian and our little family a chance."

Regina had remained still and poised to this point and although she had not permitted herself the slightest shred of hope, she still felt the poignancy of the blow his words brought upon her. She felt physically crushed. Unable to face him, she dropped her eyes to her clasped hands on the table and softly said, "I know. I understand."

Her whispered acquiescence struck Robin in a similar blow and he rushed on, desperate to make her understand. "Regina, I realized that, in Marian's mind, death never did part us. She sees me as I was decades ago. As her husband. I feel I am duty bound to honor the commitment I made to her. I can't bear the thought of making her unhappy, especially since I have spent so much of my life only wishing I could see her and hold her again."

Regina flinched at the image his words brought to her mind. She could not take any more. Holding up her hand to deflect him, she quietly replied, "You are right, Robin. Really, I understand. You both deserve all the happiness in the world and this is your chance." She paused before adding, with just a hint of bitterness, "I find that people generally find the endings they deserve, and this only proves it."

Robin had been afraid of this. He knew that she would likely see this turn of events as yet another punishment her past had entitled her to, but he did not believe that. Shaking his head, he reached forward to take her hand. She pulled it away.

Hot tears of shame made new tracks down her cheeks as she looked down at her now tightly clasped hands. Robin only hesitated for a moment before slowing reaching across the table, pushing her dark hair behind one ear and cupping her wet cheek in his hand.

Regina could not help but lean into his touch and she reached up to gently hold his hand in place. She pressed his hand to her face and tried to savor the last moments she had with him, before she dropped the bomb she knew would blow him away from her forever.

"I killed her, Robin," she whispered as she finally pulled his hand away. "Emma rescued her from my dungeon. She was there to serve as an example of what happened when Snow White was given aid." Regina was struggling to maintain eye contact, and so she didn't notice that this information did not create the stir she had expected. Robin's expression of sadness and sympathy went unchanged.

One more sob escaped as Regina suddenly stood. She looked around helplessly, as if hoping to flee, before forcefully adding, "I deserve exactly what I am getting, Robin. Please just go. Go and be happy, but don't worry about me."

With that said, any sliver of composure left Regina. She had to get out.

She turned to rush out of the dining room and up the large staircase, but Robin stood and caught her gently by the hand. She started at the unexpected touch and turned fearfully back to face him.

"Wait, Regina…" He knew that this wouldn't really change their situation, but he felt it was important that she knew the truth.

"Regina, I…" He struggled to begin, choosing words very carefully. "You need to… I want you to know that I always knew what had happened."

Her eyes widened in surprise. What exactly was he saying?

"After Marian disappeared, I did not rest until I learned what had become of her. There were…" he paused, looking anxiously at her, "There were many witnesses to her arrest."

Regina flinched at the thought. Of course there were. That had been the point.

Robin began to caress her sorrowful face. Standing in on the landing in her foyer, they were now closer than they had been since before entering the diner so long ago.

"The point I am trying to make," he said softly but firmly, "is that I knew exactly what the Evil Queen was capable of long before Roland could even walk."

He gently wiped a few stray tears from her cheek with his thumb before continuing. "She is gone, Regina. She has been gone for a long time and I know without a down that she is not coming back."

Leaning closer, the outlaw placed a chaste but lingering kiss high on the queen's cheekbone. He could feel her trembling with grief against him and knew his own emotions would not remain in check much longer.

With fresh tears pooling in his own eyes, Robin met her gaze once more. "You, Regina," he said forcefully. "You deserve a lifetime of happiness. I only wish I was to be the one to share it with you."

With one final embrace, he was gone. Regina stood numb, unable to process what she was feeling.

Grief, more than anything. She felt an overwhelming sense of heartbreak. There was also confusion, however. As she listened to him quickly retreat down her front steps, Regina tried to make sense of what he had said.

He had known? He had known all along?

Her heart felt a strange flutter as she made the connection that had been so important to him.

He had loved her, wanted her, anyway.

She knew this realization would probably bring her a little bit of comfort later, but now it only seemed to sharpen the blade of her loss.

A small noise behind her brought Regina out of her reverie and she turned to see Snow standing at the base of the staircase. Regina tried hastily to dry her eyes and clear her throat. Snow's expression brought Regina to a halt and her arms dropped feebly to her sides.

The princess smiled sadly, shaking her head as she approached the despairing queen. "It's okay, Regina," she said bracingly as she opened her arms and stepped forward to embrace her stepmother. With a final sigh of resignation and helplessness, Regina allowed herself to be enfolded in her former enemy's arms. It only took a moment for the queen to return the embrace with wholehearted desperation.

* * *

I know! I know it is awful and sad! I just think that Robin's to noble of a guy to just leave his beloved wife in the lurch, but his nobility is what makes him perfect for Regina. I promise it will get better. Luckily Regina now has an awesome, if unconventional, support system. Tell me what you think!


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